Short Novels: 9 Ancient Rules That Sound Ridiculous – But Still Technically Exist

It’s Illegal to Die in the Houses of Parliament (UK)

If you ever find yourself feeling faint inside the UK’s Houses of Parliament, you might want to step outside—because, incredibly, it’s supposedly illegal to die there. This odd law comes from an old belief that anyone who died in a royal palace was entitled to a state funeral, something the government certainly didn’t want to encourage. Even though legal experts have debated whether this was ever a formally enforceable law, it’s never been officially repealed and continues to pop up in lists of Britain’s strangest statutes. The rule is more symbolic than practical, but its continued existence is a perfect reminder that some legal quirks from centuries past still linger on the books. Law professors often use this example to teach students about the absurd longevity of certain laws, and it even makes for a popular piece of trivia among tour guides. While no one has ever been prosecuted for breaking this law (for obvious reasons), its story is a testament to the oddities that can survive in the legal system. Imagine the panic if someone actually tried to enforce it—there would be headlines around the world.

No Armor Allowed in Parliament (UK)

Step aside, Game of Thrones: it’s still technically illegal to wear armor in the Houses of Parliament. This isn’t a joke—under the Statute Forbidding Bearing of Armour from 1313, donning a suit of steel in Parliament could put you on the wrong side of the law. The rule made sense in a time when political disputes could literally turn deadly, but today it’s hard to imagine a modern MP clanking around in medieval gear. Even so, the law remains on the books, a relic from an era when personal safety meant being ready for battle. Historians point out that this statute is a fascinating window into the mindset of medieval lawmakers, who genuinely worried about physical fights breaking out among politicians. Occasionally, the law is cited in humorous news stories or during debates about legal reform, reminding everyone just how much the world has changed. It’s a favorite among people who love quirky British traditions, and it gives new meaning to the phrase “well-armed debate.”

Whale Ownership Rights (UK)

If you happen to catch a whale or a sturgeon off the British coast, don’t get too excited—by law, it belongs to the King. This peculiar statute dates back to 1324 when King Edward II declared all “royal fish” (specifically whales and sturgeons) as property of the crown. The law is actually still cited in rare modern cases: in 2004, a fisherman who caught a sturgeon off Wales was reminded that he had to inform the royal authorities. The rule highlights just how seriously medieval monarchs took their claims over natural resources, viewing giant sea creatures as prestigious prizes. Marine law experts sometimes mention this statute when discussing the tangled web of fishing rights and conservation laws in the UK. For centuries, these animals were considered symbols of wealth and power, making them valuable not just as food but as status symbols. While most people today wouldn’t dream of keeping a whale in their backyard, the law’s continued existence is a quirky reminder of how old traditions can persist in surprising ways. Some legal scholars even joke that it’s the only law that could make you a criminal for being too lucky at sea.

You Can’t Ride a Cow Drunk in Scotland

Think twice before saddling up a cow after a night at the pub in Scotland—being drunk in charge of a cow, horse, or even a steam engine is illegal under the Licensing Act 1872. This law, which was created long before cars became common, was meant to prevent accidents and keep public order at a time when animals were everyday transportation. While police today focus on drink-driving laws, this old rule technically still exists and occasionally makes the rounds in quirky news columns. Legal analysts have noted that although the law is rarely enforced, it’s an interesting example of how changing technology can leave behind a trail of legal oddities. Animal welfare advocates point out that the law was ahead of its time in recognizing the dangers of mixing alcohol with animal care. On a lighter note, the law has become a favorite punchline for comedians and pub quizmasters alike. Imagine explaining to a judge that you only had “a wee dram” before taking Bessie for a stroll—good luck with that defense!

It’s Illegal to Hunt Camels in Arizona (USA)

Arizona’s dusty deserts once echoed with the soft tread of camels—a surprising fact, given their association with the Middle East, not the American Southwest. In the mid-1800s, the U.S. Army imported camels as part of an experiment for desert transport, but when the project failed, some animals were set free. Despite the fact that camels haven’t roamed wild in Arizona for over a century, it’s still technically illegal to hunt them, thanks to a 19th-century state law. Wildlife officials sometimes reference this law as an example of legislation that has outlived its purpose. Historians love telling the tale, using it to illustrate the sometimes comic legacy of America’s frontier experiments. While no one is being arrested for camel hunting in the 21st century, the law is a curious footnote in Arizona’s legal code. The thought of a sheriff chasing a camel hunter across the cactus-studded plains is almost too hilarious to picture, but it’s a reminder that laws can become time capsules of forgotten stories.

Witchcraft Laws Still Exist (Canada)

Until shockingly recently—2018, to be exact—Canada’s Criminal Code had a section making it illegal to “pretend to practice witchcraft.” Section 365, written in the 19th century, was aimed at fraudsters but ended up lumping fortune-tellers and spiritualists together with so-called witches. Although the federal law was finally repealed, some local bylaws still echo these old standards, even if no one enforces them. Legal historians often point to this example when explaining how superstition and fear can get written into law. The law’s existence well into the 21st century is a reminder of how slow legal systems can be to catch up with common sense. People who work in spiritual professions say they’re glad the law is gone, but the fact that it survived for so long is both baffling and a little chilling. It’s a strange relic from a time when witch hunts weren’t just history—they were policy.

You Must Practice Archery (UK, Historical)

Picture this: every Englishman, young and old, required by law to practice longbow archery every week. That’s not just a scene from a Robin Hood story—it was reality for centuries. Starting with the Unlawful Games Act 1541 and similar statutes, English men were mandated to hone their skills for national defense. These laws were never formally repealed in some areas, meaning that, technically, failing to hit the target on a Sunday afternoon could land you in trouble. Historians say these rules were vital for England’s military might, especially during the Hundred Years’ War. Even today, some village festivals keep the tradition alive, though no one’s checking attendance records. Archery clubs sometimes joke about the law, half-wishing it would come back into fashion. The persistence of this rule is a reminder that the echoes of medieval warfare still faintly hum in the modern world.

Men Must Wear a Sword in Public (Honduras)

In the colonial city of Comayagua, Honduras, an old constitution once required men to wear a sword in public as a marker of status and masculinity. The idea was simple: a gentleman was never truly dressed without his blade. This rule, never officially repealed in some local legal codes, speaks volumes about the old-fashioned ideals of honor and readiness. Today, the law is a relic, quietly ignored and almost forgotten, but it lingers in the background of Honduras’ legal history. Cultural experts point to this law as evidence of how deeply gender and social roles can become entwined with legal expectations. The law rarely comes up in conversation, but every once in a while, someone discovers it and marvels at the thought of daily life spent armed and ready. Imagine the looks you’d get if you wore a sword to the supermarket today—talk about turning heads!

You Can’t Die in the Town of Longyearbyen (Norway)

In the icy town of Longyearbyen, Norway, dying is technically off-limits. Thanks to the permafrost, bodies simply don’t decompose, so burials on Svalbard have been banned since the 1950s. If you’re terminally ill, authorities require that you be transported to the mainland to pass away. While not a formal law, it’s a regulation with full legal weight and is enforced as a matter of public health. Scientists and journalists love to tell the story, describing how the town’s unique climate has forced officials to rethink what’s possible when it comes to life—and death. The rule even made headlines in recent years as climate change shifted the permafrost and brought new attention to this strange regulation. Residents treat the rule with a mix of solemnity and dry humor, but it’s a powerful example of how the natural world can shape human rules in the most unexpected ways.

Summary

These ancient rules, each stranger than the last, still linger in legal codes around the world. Whether they’re relics of royal privilege, cautionary tales about alcohol and livestock, or echoes of medieval warfare, these statutes reveal just how unpredictable the evolution of law can be. Some make us laugh, others make us scratch our heads, but all of them offer a window into the ways society has tried—sometimes desperately—to keep order in a changing world.