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The Columbus Flat Earth Deception
You’ve probably heard this one a thousand times – brave Christopher Columbus set sail in 1492 to prove the Earth wasn’t flat, facing down ignorant medieval scholars who insisted he’d sail right off the edge. It’s a compelling story that paints Columbus as an enlightened hero battling superstition. But here’s the kicker: it’s complete nonsense.
Historians of science David Lindberg and Ronald Numbers point out that “there was scarcely a Christian scholar of the Middle Ages who did not acknowledge [Earth’s] sphericity and even know its approximate circumference”. The ancient Greeks knew the Earth was round, and that knowledge never disappeared. Even sailors figured it out just by watching ships disappear over the horizon – bottom first, then the mast.
So why did Columbus face opposition? He mistakenly believed that the circumference of Earth was very small and that by traveling west toward what he thought was China, he’d open up new trade routes. His critics weren’t worried about falling off the edge – they correctly suspected his distance calculations were way off.
Irving couldn’t help from adding fictional flourishes to Columbus’ already fascinating life. Crucially, he claimed that when the explorer told Spanish geographers the earth was not actually flat, they refused to believe him, even questioning his faith and endangering his life. Washington Irving’s 1828 novel essentially invented this myth to spice up what he thought was a boring story.
The Emancipation Proclamation Myth
Here’s another history lesson that makes Lincoln look like a superhero: with one stroke of his pen, the Great Emancipator freed all the slaves with the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863. Case closed, slavery ended, America saved. Except that’s not what happened at all.
The Emancipation Proclamation did not end slavery in the nation since it only applied to areas of the Confederacy currently in a state of rebellion (and not even to the loyal “border states” that remained in the Union). Think about the logic here – Lincoln declared slaves free in territories he didn’t even control, while keeping slavery legal in areas where he actually had power.
The proclamation was essentially a military strategy dressed up as moral leadership. Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, declaring it to be “a fit and necessary war measure”. It was designed to destabilize the Confederate war effort, not to end slavery nationwide.
It was the ratification of the 13th Amendment, not the Emancipation Proclamation, that abolished chattel slavery nationwide. The real end of slavery came with the 13th Amendment in December 1865 – two years after Lincoln’s supposedly game-changing proclamation.
The Lawless Wild West Fantasy
Hollywood has sold us a Wild West where gunfights happened daily and lawmen were either corrupt or outgunned. Every saloon had a shootout, every town lived in fear of roving bandits, and justice came from the barrel of a gun. But the real Wild West would have bored movie audiences to tears.
Frontier towns by and large prohibited the “carrying of dangerous weapons of any type, concealed or otherwise, by persons other than law enforcement officers”. Many towns had stricter gun control than we do today. Visitors had to check their weapons with the sheriff, like checking a coat at a restaurant.
In five such cattle towns in the key years 1870–85, there was an average of just 1.5 murders per town per cattle-trading season. That’s a lower murder rate than today in that part of America, let alone in its big cities. Dodge City, supposedly the wildest town in the West, had years with zero murders.
Falling sick in the West killed way more people than any murderous band of outlaws could ever dream of. Guns were common in the West, but they were seldom used to kill other people. Disease and accidents were the real killers, not gunfighters.
The Dark Ages Darkness
According to popular history, when Rome fell, Europe plunged into intellectual darkness. For a thousand years, supposedly, scientific progress stopped, knowledge was lost, and humanity stumbled around in ignorance until the Renaissance saved everyone. It’s a neat story that fits our ideas about progress, but it’s historically bankrupt.
Louise Bishop states that virtually every thinker and writer of the 1000-year medieval period affirmed the spherical shape of the Earth. Medieval scholars weren’t ignorant – they preserved ancient knowledge and built upon it. They created universities, developed Gothic architecture, and made advances in mathematics and physics.
The term “Dark Ages” itself is misleading. Historian Jeffrey Burton Russell says the flat-Earth error flourished most between 1870 and 1920, and had to do with the ideological setting created by struggles over biological evolution. The “darkness” was largely a 19th-century invention used to attack medieval Christianity.
Medieval monasteries saved countless classical texts from destruction. Islamic scholars preserved Greek and Roman knowledge. The period saw technological innovations like the heavy plow, windmills, and mechanical clocks. Calling it “dark” is like calling the foundation of a house useless because you can’t see it.
Marie Antoinette’s Cake
When the starving French peasants complained about having no bread, the callous Queen Marie Antoinette supposedly replied, “Let them eat cake.” It’s the perfect symbol of aristocratic indifference – a privileged royal so out of touch she couldn’t understand poverty. The phrase has become shorthand for elitist arrogance.
Here’s the problem: there’s zero evidence she ever said it. The phrase appears in Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s writings, but he attributed it to “a great princess” and published it when Marie Antoinette was still a child. It was probably revolutionary propaganda designed to make her look heartless.
The real Marie Antoinette was actually involved in charitable work and showed concern for the poor. She became a convenient scapegoat for France’s economic problems, and the fake quote stuck because it fit the narrative revolutionaries wanted to tell. Sometimes the most memorable quotes are the ones that were never spoken.
The Boston Tea Party Tax Protest
Every American schoolchild learns that the Boston Tea Party was a protest against unfair British taxation. “No taxation without representation” was the rallying cry, and those brave colonists dumped tea into Boston Harbor to protest the Tea Act’s burdensome taxes. It’s a story about standing up to government overreach.
But here’s the twist: the Tea Act actually lowered tea prices for colonists. The British East India Company was struggling financially, so Parliament gave them a monopoly that allowed them to sell tea cheaper than ever before. The colonists weren’t protesting high taxes – they were protesting a corporate monopoly.
The real issue was that the Tea Act cut out colonial merchants who had been importing tea illegally. These smugglers were about to lose their profitable business to legal, cheaper tea. The protest was as much about protecting illegal profits as it was about principle.
The “taxation without representation” slogan was powerful propaganda, but it masked the economic reality. Colonial merchants dressed up their business interests as patriotic resistance, and the story stuck. It’s easier to teach noble principles than complicated economics.
Viking Horned Helmets
Picture a Viking warrior, and you’ll probably imagine a fierce Norseman with a horned helmet charging into battle. It’s an iconic image that appears in everything from comic books to movies to football team logos. The horned helmet has become inseparable from Viking identity.
Archaeological evidence tells a different story: Vikings never wore horned helmets. Not a single authentic Viking helmet with horns has ever been found. The few Viking helmets that archaeologists have discovered are simple, practical designs without any decorative horns.
So where did this myth come from? Blame 19th-century opera. Richard Wagner’s “Ring Cycle” featured performers in elaborate horned helmets, and the image caught on. Victorian artists loved the dramatic look, and it became the standard way to depict Vikings in popular culture.
The real Viking helmets were designed for protection, not theatrics. Horns would have been a liability in battle – they’d catch weapons and make the helmet heavier. Vikings were practical warriors, not costume designers.
The Great Wall Space Myth
It’s one of those “facts” that everyone knows: the Great Wall of China is the only human-made structure visible from space. Astronauts can supposedly see it from orbit, proving how massive and impressive this ancient wonder really is. It’s a claim that makes China’s greatest monument seem even more remarkable.
The problem is that astronauts consistently report the opposite. The Great Wall is barely visible from low Earth orbit, and only under perfect conditions with magnification. From the moon, it’s completely invisible to the naked eye. Many highways, airports, and cities are far more visible than the Great Wall.
The myth probably started because the Great Wall is genuinely impressive – over 13,000 miles long and centuries old. But visibility from space isn’t what makes it remarkable. Its historical significance, engineering achievement, and cultural importance are what really matter.
Even Chinese astronaut Yang Liwei, the first person from China to go to space, confirmed he couldn’t see the Great Wall from orbit. The myth persists because it sounds like it should be true, but space is much farther away than most people imagine.
Napoleon’s Short Stature
Napoleon Bonaparte – history’s most famous short man. The little emperor who conquered Europe to compensate for his tiny stature. His supposed height complex became so legendary that we still use “Napoleon complex” to describe short men who act aggressively. It’s a story that reduces one of history’s most successful military leaders to a psychological case study.
The reality is that Napoleon was about 5’6″ to 5’7″ – completely average for French men of his era. He wasn’t short at all by 18th-century standards. The confusion comes from differences between French and English measurements, plus deliberate British propaganda that mocked him as a tiny tyrant.
British cartoonists loved depicting Napoleon as a miniature figure, and the image stuck. It was easier to mock a short dictator than admit that a normal-sized man had nearly conquered Europe. The “short Napoleon” became a comforting myth that made him seem less threatening.
Height had nothing to do with Napoleon’s ambitions or his military genius. He conquered most of Europe because he was brilliant at warfare and politics, not because he was compensating for anything. Sometimes the most persistent myths are the ones that make complex history seem simple.
America’s Solo World War II Victory
In the American version of World War II, the United States single-handedly defeated Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan. We saved Europe from fascism, liberated concentration camps, and brought democracy to the world. It’s a story of American heroism and moral leadership that makes us the clear victors.
The numbers tell a different story. The Soviet Union bore the brunt of Nazi Germany’s forces (80% of German casualties were on the Eastern Front). More Soviet soldiers died in the Battle of Stalingrad alone than American soldiers died in the entire war. The Red Army destroyed the bulk of Germany’s military power.
Britain held out against Nazi bombing for over a year before America entered the war. British intelligence cracked German codes, and the Royal Navy kept Atlantic supply lines open. Without British resistance, there would have been no platform for American forces to launch D-Day.
America’s contributions were crucial – Lend-Lease aid, industrial production, and military power were all vital to Allied victory. But it was a team effort. The myth of American solo victory ignores the sacrifices of millions of Soviet, British, and other Allied soldiers who died fighting fascism.
Could you imagine if history class actually taught these complexities instead of comfortable myths?
Besides founding Festivaltopia, Luca is the co founder of trib, an art and fashion collectiv you find on several regional events and online. Also he is part of the management board at HORiZONTE, a group travel provider in Germany.
